morning.

I woke up early this morning to the feeling of my sweet girl dancing around in my stomach. Which made me smile, and also brought me to the realization that I was very, VERY hungry. So now here I sit, eating a poptart while everyone else in the house is sound asleep. It's so quiet in this house. I love peaceful moments like these, but somehow they always make me miss the pitter patter of my Oliver's feet running through the house in search of new adventures. Soon we will have two babies to make all those happy noises. That thought makes me wonder...Will she be able to run like her brother? What will her future look like? This is the hardest part about not knowing. I am a person who likes answers. If I don't know the answer to a question I enjoy looking for it. So, here I sit with a huge question mark stamped on the future of my daughter's life and no way to find the answer. It hurts, and it scares me, and sometimes it makes me so mad. And in those moments I can almost hear the whisper of God in my heart. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will straighten your paths." Trust in Him. Why is that so hard? Doesn't God know that this is my child that we are talking about? Another thought rocks me to my core. What about His child? What about Jesus? Was it not difficult for Him to watch His son live perfectly only to have to die a horrific death to save the world from its own sin? I am sure it was hard for Him but it was all part of a bigger plan. He has a plan for my daughter. He has a plan for our family. He will make our paths straight. He will give us answers in His time.

For now, I will spend time enjoying the sound of this little guy running wildly through the house, and I will wait.