The past week has been rough for me. It seems like there is an ongoing internal struggle between my faith in God's plan for my daughter and the fear of what might be coming. There is a constant tug of war in my heart and sometimes even I am not sure which side is actually winning. I know the truth about my God. In moments of weakness I know He is near. I can hear the echo of scripture reverberating in my mind. Jer. 29:11"
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord,"plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans for hope and a future." Joshua 1:9 "
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified,do not be discouraged for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go." These things I am sure of, and when I feel like I am lost in a world of "why's" and "what if's" I remember these verses and make the choice to find rest in the arms of my savior. It is hard. Everyday I have to choose faith over the fear that so easily envelopes a mother worried over the life of her child. Ultimately she is not mine. She belongs to God.
Friday is our next appointment and ultrasound. I am excited to get to see our girl again. Please friends, pray with us. I ask that you pray for God to give us strength and His peace, and as always pray she will be healthy. I will never be able to express to you all how much it means to have friends and family willing to live life with us over the next few months until we get to meet our sweet girl face to face. Hopefully the next few days will move by quickly. Hopefully the next few months go by quickly, but for now I wait.
p.s. I wanted to share a song with you all that has been an anthem for me over the past few weeks. The song is "Always" by Kristian Stanfill.
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